I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
