we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
