I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
