Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize