btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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