So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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