oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So squirting runs in the family.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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