3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
