you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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