we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
