Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize