So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
