I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
