thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
