i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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