That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
