They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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