YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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