Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize