you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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