Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
