I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm just crazy horny about you
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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