I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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