Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
