i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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