And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My vagina is officially offended.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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