Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
