How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
