i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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