if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
