Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
