that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
