He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
