yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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