Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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