And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
