and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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