Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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