I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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