just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
