Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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