Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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