We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
