I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
