He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize