I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
