So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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