Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
