is your mom at the bar?
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
