Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
