Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
