I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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