im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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