Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
