we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
