i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
