My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
