So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
