i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
