and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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