i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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